Panic swept through this sleepy little
lakeside town when rumors circulated that the State of
Michigan was attempting to wipe out the beloved local
Yngling fleet.
At a hastily called news conference Mayor Tyrone
Bowline attempted to address an unruly crowd.
Before he could begin ,however, angry questions rang
out.
"Why is the DNR trying to destroy our beloved Ynglng
fleet?" screamed Barbra Hauler,local activist.
"The DNR is doing no such thing" answered the Mayor
"Then why is there a stake net right next to the
turning mark by the Yacht Club? The DNR is killing
cormorants. We hear they are after the Ynglings too. "
yelled Hauler.
"It's been a long winter" said the Mayor "You
numbskulls really need to get a life and stop
circulating rumors.... Here, I'll let the DNR explain"
With that DNR officer Rodney Nimrod took the
microphone.
"It's all part of Governor Granholm's "Cool Cities"
project. said the officer. "She discovered fishing is
a cool thing to do and last year we actually found a
fish the cormorants didn't eat so she gave us the task
 finding that fish this year."
"Well, you know the state of the Michigan economy"
continued officer Nimrod "What with the price of gas
and budget cuts and all we couldn't afford to put the
net in deep water by boat, so we got our two tallest
officers, "Stretch" Lapscinsziki from Marquette and
Kwame Washington from Detroit, to carry the net out by
hand... They got as far as the turning mark by the
Yacht Club before they went under."
"There! that explains everything" said the Mayor "Now
go home"

"....I've just been handed a public service
bulletin..." The Mayor began to read " While we were
meeting, Johnson Street,Chisholm Street,Washington
Avenue, Long Rapids Road and Ripley Boulevard were
closed due to construction and the Second Avenue
Bridge is open for maintenance."